Some Thoughts on Christianity in N. India

It seems as though ecumenism in India (Northern India in particular) is rooted in a necessity, more than simply a theological ideal. I have already discussed in various posts the extreme religiosity that permeates the Indian culture, and in a country where Christianity is such an extreme religious minority, those who profess a faith based in the Gospel of Jesus Christ must come together rather than remain disconnected due to denominational boundaries. I do not intend to make the claim that a theology of Christian unity does not play a significant role in the identity of Indian Christians, however. The ecumenical ideal is as vibrant as the women's sarees here, and many of the leaders in the North Indian unity movement were Indians, rather than their Western counterparts.

T.K. Thomas spent much of his career working in the Geneva offices of the World Council of Churches and was considered one of the finest advocates of the world Christian unity movement. His numerous writings championed the most cutting edge ideas of ecumenical theology (particularly in India). "The Christian ideal, then, has nothing exclusive about it," Thomas writes. "It invites people of all religious persuasions and people of no religious persuasion to work together for human development", largely because Christianity recognizes its Christ as the fullest embodiment of authentic humanity. Still, according to Thomas, such emptying and blurring of any religious identity is a necessity of the Christian faith. "We cannot follow the Christ who emptied himself without emptying ourselves of all things -- including our identities."

Furthermore, Thomas was a leading name in cause of inclusive language and women's rights in the Indian Church. In a country of extreme class-ism, caste-ism, and sexism, he argued that it was simply inappropriate to discriminate against 'the least of these' (in this case, women) in words and deeds if we are to hold Jesus's Gospel message true. God is ever present and aware of all that occurs. God is everywhere and all things. Thus, "everything must of course include woman, but she is not seen, she is, for the most part, excluded." As a result, women (who make up the majority of practicing Christians in India) are followers of the male monopolized God. In the current Indian culture, such claims are quite revolutionary, but so is our Christian faith, he argued. Christ came to give good news to the oppressed, thus requiring the Church, both male and female, to become more "daringly eclectic" with our language for God.

Still, nothing about such claims are simple in a society where one's location in the cultural hierarchy makes all the difference. Many of the Hindus that I have met talk to me about their appreciation for the man Jesus of Nazareth. They recognize the value in his teachings of love and care for others, and they even speak of him as a respected Guru. Christians are esteemed for their work with the poor and the excellent private education that they provide India. Still, Christianity has a message that is not particularly appealing to those in the higher echelons of Indian society, as it advocates for a breaking down of exclusionary social and political structures. Hinduism often welcomes elitism (though I do not pretend to be naive of the same potential in prosperity gospel or predestination theologies within Christianity), thus the majority of Christian converts from Hinduism are those in the lower castes. And so we return to the cultural necessity of uniting in a common cause, or faith. Dhanji Bhai Nauroji said in 1881: "[Indian Christians] belong, it is true, to various denominations, but seldom if ever do they make anything of denominational differences. The fact is, they do not know and are not eager to know, what these difference exactly are. They are Christians, and they glory in that name."

Yet, the colonized Indian Christians still remained dependent on their missionaries and thus held tightly to the ties of their mission churches. As a result, the conversations surrounding church union in North India brought with it unique tensions concerning dual identities: the traditions of their Western evangelists and the realities of their indigenous faith. They required approval from the Western powers, since the movement was one for unity (rather than further separation in the name of denominational preferences) and often struggled to find an acceptable road map for union in the eyes of their Western founding churches.

Eventually there was success after four official drafts of a unity plan. The powers that be in the West were satisfied with the proposal, and in 1970, the Church of North India was inaugurated. Some have said that the greatest and last significant success of CNI was the day it unified. They argue that few know of the continued work of the Church of North India and that (particularly here in Kolkata) the Catholic and Assemblies of God presence is the Christianity of which most Indians are aware. Perhaps that is largely caused by the tensions that have always existed in CNI between its historical ties with the colonizing religion of the West and its desire to be an indigenous Indian Church. Both the Roman Catholics and AGs are still controlled by their Western heads and can be more publicly present due to their outsider status. It is much more difficult for an Indian church to decipher its mixed identity in the public square. It again becomes the struggle that Mainline Protestantism in America grapples with : how do we both profess loudly our unique Christian faith and still be active and respected participants in a pluralistic society that does not necessarily share our faith commitments? How do we be revolutionary prophets for the peace and justice of Jesus Christ without disrespecting those who believe differently (and thus negating our own purpose of sharing the Good News)?

I think the beginning of the answer must be unity. Holding onto fights over history and polity, of schisms and excommunications does not seem appropriate any longer (I am not certain, personally, that it ever was, but that's a conversation for another day). CNI is on the right path, they are Christians in Northern India first and products of certain mission fields second. The next stage of their work will be to discern what their future holds as a faith communion. It has been nearly 40 years since the 40-year unity conversation culminated in the inauguration of the Church of North India. If the seminarians I have met at Bishop's College are any indication of the forthcoming church (and I like to think that seminarians always are!), I am very excited to see what CNI has in store for Northern India.

Two Weeks Left... Sad Face!

Yesterday was my two week marker for leaving Kolkata. I have ridiculously mixed emotions about it. Even now, as I write the words 'leaving Kolkata', I am getting choked up at the thought, while simultaneously longing to be on a plane over the Atlantic towards home. My friend Danny Mac was absolutely correct when he told me during our tea date in Delhi "India will challenge you and change you, it always does, but it will never be in the ways that you expected." India has its own plans, that is certainly true.

In some ways, I expected to be overcome by the extremeness of this country. It is so very different from any place I have been before (ah, Cynthia Lindner's point from the beginning of this whole grant process). The poverty is overwhelming; the language(s) is so insanely complicated for me (due to how very different it is from any of those I have studied); the culture treats women in a bizarrely privileged and simultaneously repressed fashion; I, as a Westerner, am both a welcomed profit margin and a mistrusted imperial representative.

Still, the stares don't bother me anymore; I happily wear my jeans on the street and a salwar kameez to church; I give directions to the cabbies (in Bengali!) and fight for the metered rate when they try to double the fare; I wash my clothes in a bucket, then use it for my bath; I am singing in a Hindi ensemble. I love Kolkata and feel in many ways like it has become another home to me. Perhaps my American homestead-trio (Bville, where I grew up; Indy, where my parents own a house; and Chicago, where I live now) has made "home" a less concrete concept. Still, I feel like the woman that I will be for the rest of my life will be intensely linked with my time in this place. I feel like I need to come home (to the States) in order to even begin to process this summer. In many ways, my scholarly research on CNI has been simple: library books and articles are familiar... it has been reading, interviewing, and attending worship services. And while very little about the Church is easy (particularly one based in Christian unity with diversity as a founding principle, hear that my Disciples family?), everything about being a 24-year old woman traveling alone in India is VERY difficult.

It seems fitting that I would be in India for the Monsoon season; I often feel like there is an internal monsoon brewing as well. On any given day, it is sunny and bright, humid and cloudy, raining and cool. 30 seconds are enough to turn the previous sunshine into a desperate downpour. A monsoon in the city means flooding of ancient and unequipped sewage infrastructure, more common power-outages, the redistribution of waste by newly formed street-side streams, not to mention the increased hardships a season of rain and flooding has on the urban street dwelling community. Yet, the monsoon brings with it the promise of water for a year of crop production (which means food!) and a cleansing of debris left from the previous months. When the first bursts of the monsoon occur all buildings suddenly empty as everyone gathers in the streets to celebrate the coming of the rains. Children splash in the puddles on their way to school, women in vibrantly colored sarees of cotton and even silk dance in the downpour, and men laughingly hug one another as their suits become drenched by the waters falling from the sky. The monsoon means that life will continue; and despite how frightening that may be, everyone in India knows what a blessing it is to live.

Safe

First, let me reassure everyone who may have heard the news of terrorists threats aimed at Kolkata. I am 100% safe at this moment in time. I was just paying the taxi who had brought Cecile, Carole and me to Jadavpur (the Kolkata suburb where Youssef has an apartment) when my phone began to ring. Dr. Caleb was calling to ask me to come back to Bishop's College immediately, as there had been a series of emails sent indicating that a terrorist organization would be targeting popular Kolkata locations in a series of bomb attacks. Unfortunately by the time he had explained the situation, our cab had left and there was not another taxi to be found. He said that it would be okay for me to stay at Jadavpur for the night as long as we avoided public places. To be honest, I felt more comfortable sequestered away in their suburban flat than in a taxi that would necessarily be crossing major overpasses on the return trip to the city proper. I explained the situation to my four French friends (plus the Moroccan Youssef), and I was a little shocked that they were not particularly concerned. Sunil was certain that these threats were to be taken seriously, but no one in the apartment, besides Youssef and myself, seemed at the least bit worried. Then I realized these friends are residents of the country that openly objected to the American 'War on Terror'. They have not had an open attack on their national soil; it was not the Eiffel Tour seen crumbling to the ground on September 11th. I do not say this as a critique, but rather as an observation. It makes sense that the American would be freaked out, while the French in the flat would be discussing whether to use butter or oil to fry the chicken samosas.

Cecile noticed that I was uneasy, and I explained that Americans are particularly jumpy these days when the word 'terrorism' comes up. I also told them about being in elementary school when my home state was attacked by one of our own (the 1995 Murrah Building bombing in Oklahoma City). This stuff encourages particular paranoia as far as my own memories are involved, so I was going to be a bit edgy for the evening.

By 11:30 pm, all was still well in Kolkata, so we decided to head back to the city. I arrived at Bishop's College safe and sound (the police force was increased in number and in firearms, so the city is clearly on alert), and I will stay in less public locations until we know that the risks have passed. Just to give you a sense of the time difference, India is 9.5 hours ahead of EST in the US. So, when the time punch at the bottom of my post says 4:30 am, it is actually 2 pm in Kolkata. I am safe, so no need to worry about me. Do keep the city of Kolkata, the state of India, and all who reside here (both those targeted by terrorists and those who feel that terrorism is appropriate) in your thoughts and prayers. 

What's In a Name?

My name in India is essentially 'Bettany' or 'Bet'. No one can come close to pronouncing it with the 'th'. Even Miriam, my Irish friend could only call me 'Betny' (something I became accustomed to while living in Galway), though she could at least understand what I was saying when I told her my name (Just FYI, there is an INSANELY huge worm crawling across my floor right now, and I'm not the least freaked out!). Imagine my utter glee when I met Kelli from Ohio tonight. Not only did she have a beautiful midwestern accent, but my name made perfect sense to her. The 'th' sound was music to my ears!

Wait for It...!!!!!

Anne, one of my French friends, brought home a DVD from the Bastille Day celebration we attended two weeks ago (I can't believe that it has only been two weeks -- especially since I was bed-ridden for five of those days -- but the time passes differently here). The Indian version of 'Entertainment Tonight' (or ET) television was at the party, since it was one of the major social events in the Kolkata year. We all laughed as they talked about 'all the celebrities and famous people of Kolkata' in attendance at the party... and then... wait for it... the video cut to a shot of MOI!!!!! There I was, chatting with someone I had met that night. There had been a camera man around me for several minutes at the party, but there were actually two shots of me, one of Anne's back, and a full face shot of Cecile! My friend Santanu was interviewed (since he's a famous Bengali photographer, something I didn't know until seeing the video), and they kept talking about what a "totally happening event" it was on the Kolkata scene. Talk about a total hoot! Cecile talks about life in Kolkata as a 'very strange fairytale'. This considering, I think she may well be right.

Can't Get Away From It

So, I am singing in the choir at Bishop's College. I know, I know, big surprise that I would discover a way to sing, but its still fantastic to have music in my life here. We have a performance on Sunday at St. James Church (CNI, formerly Anglican) and I am very excited. Both songs are in English (one is 'Let Us Break Bread Together', one of my personal favorites), but they all have a very unique southasian sound. At first, it was difficult to remember the Indian pronunciation of words, yet those eventually stuck (though I still want to say the 'th' sound, rather than a simple 't'). Also, I am singing contralto (most of the 10 women are sopranos) and have to sing with a very nasally quality. Still, despite having to relearn technique, I am loving it. Today at lunch, one of the 3rd years asked if I would sing with the Hindi group as long as they were able to write out the lyrics in 'English letters'. I forget that everyone here considers the Western alphabet 'English'. Yet, it makes sense considering British colonization. I have been thinking about trying to learn Hindi or Bengali when I return to UC in the fall. It will be ridiculously difficult, but worth it, since I absolutely plan to come back. Have I mentioned that I LOVE IT HERE!?!?! I hope that Maggie's ordination as one of the first CNI female priests in Kolkata will give me an excuse to return. Maybe I'll even sing in the choir at her ordination service!

Thoughts on India

I burst into tears yesterday when I realized that I how soon I am leaving... again (you'd think that I would have gotten used to it by now... but no!) I have taken to reading travel journals of Westerners' journeys throughout India and was in the middle of one woman's account of finally boarding a plane home to Sydney after two years here. At first I thought, "I want to go home!" and then I realized, "Ten weeks is not possibly enough!" At that moment I found myself desperately homesick, for both America and for this place that I have grown to love as a second home.


A few nights before I left, Mom and I had dinner with a couple who have spent a number of holidays traveling throughout India. I was in solid freak-out mode, but the Grant's stories calmed my immediate nerves and made me more excited about my trip than afraid. Mrs. Grant told me about witnessing Mr. Grant after he returned from his first trip to India. 'He simply stayed in bed for hours, then would suddenly bolt up and begin speaking rapidly about his trip. I had never seen him in such a state.' Eventually she joined him on a trip to India and began to understand.


India is a land of extremes, particularly when it comes to love. Bollywood movies portray ridiculous heroes who pine for the beautiful heroine of their desires; music mournfully longs for passionate affairs; restaurants are lit by candles and dim torches to encourage romantic rendezvous... all of this in a culture of carefully negotiated arranged marriages. Perhaps it is because reality so rarely allows for such fantasies to consume life and as a result India demands to dream. If one cannot spend eternity with a soul mate, then you spend this incarnation in love with India. I know I am.

Midnight Philosopher

Youssef is about everything one might expect a Moroccan to be: his is charming, smooth talking, hot tempered, and devastatingly handsome. He has become one of my more constant of Kolkata friends -- insofar as I am constantly certain that every ounce of time with him can only be measured by the frequency that I am forced to roll my eyes at his hilariously cliche antics (it has not been a successful night with Youssef until he has instigated utter absurdity .. in that Moroccan way of his). As soon as the night falls and the mosquitoes rise, however, Youssef becomes a philosopher. Surrounded by a cloud of his chain-smoking, he insists that his conversation partners discuss the meaning of life, the significance of travel (which he terms 'your pilgrimage'), and 'this thing we call relationship with humans'.

A few nights ago he told me that his word for life is 'God'. I grinned and told him that he stole my word ("You jerk!") and then specified that I would have chosen the exact phrase 'the Divine'. I never talk God or divinity with my French-speaking friends (most of them are properly French and lapsed Catholics who are politely freaked out by any religious conversations), so it was a bit starling to be discussing faith journeys in Youssef and Manu's Jadavpur flat.

My Moroccan friend is Muslim, though he isn't practicing right now. "It is very bad, Bettany," he said, "I am not practicing." He told me about his trip to Darjeeling (a city that sits on the base of the Himalayas). One day while there, he felt compelled to stop for one of the daily prayers to Mecca. As he rose, he saw the mountains ("What is the word for strange feeling on my arms?" "Goosebumps.") "Yes, I felt goosebumps along my arms and I knew for the first time in my 26 years that God is real." Now India has become for him a pilgrimage to find the truth of Islam. He said, "I do not know if Islam makes sense, but now I ask questions about it, and maybe one day I will practice again."

I smiled at the honesty and simplicity of his statement. I told him of the night I spent standing on a volcano in Hawaii under an indescribable dome of stars and sang an 'Alleluia' to God. As the song reached its crescendo, the volcano began to erupt and small streams of flowing lava bubbled into the sea. "I felt the Divine in that moment, standing in the peaceful, yet terrifying glory of God's creation."

"So you practice, non?" Youssef asked.
"Yes, I practice."
"And you are Christian, oui?"
"Yes, I am Christian."
"That is good for you."

I looked at my friend and remembered the Hindi greeting 'Namaste', which means 'I see the divine in you.' The Divine is deep within you, Youssef, I thought. I am certain of that.

The Land of Religion

I had been sitting in a taxi, on my way to my favorite coffee shop on Park Street (yes, the one in which I fainted), when I saw familiar faces from the Baptist Missionary Society. 'The Christians' were standing on the corner of the road, and I began to yell 'Oyje! Oyje! Daane! Baz!' ('There! There! To the Right! Stop!') while waving frantically in the direction of my friends. I tossed a 50 rupee note at the driver for a 30 rupee ride and sprinted across the street. We all exchanged hugs and they began telling me of their many adventures over the past two weeks. Their stories were mostly about praying over Hindu converts to Christianity, and I realized that I wasn't merely pretending to be interested in their adventures, I was actually moved! I remembered how freaked out I was (but obligated to allow it) when they asked to lay hands on me and pray during our first weeks in Kolkata. By the end of the 30 minutes of Bethany-focused prayer (which included chanting, singing, and what I believe may have been speaking in tongues), I have to admit that I felt more willing to let go (partially) of my obsessive compulsive tendencies and to trust God during this time in India. If there is one thing that India is teaching me, it is a new kind of pluralism and religious tolerance. So they like to pray over people, does that really threaten my more pristine (and less charismatic) version of Protestant Christianity? Maybe a little bit at home, but not in this place. In India, religion is everywhere.

This is not a land of the cherry/B.O. scented rearview mirror air freshener; rather, each taxi and autorickshaw is decorated with various pictures of Ganesh, Mahadevi (the great goddess), or Shiva and Vishnu, whoever is the driver's Hindu god of choice. Some even sport freshly burning incense and recently purchased garlands of flowers along the dashboards. For the terrifying 20-minute drive, you find yourself praying that there may just be something in their makeshift, dashboard temple that will guarantee your safe arrival at your specified destination.

The Hindu religion, if one can every really claim there is ONE Hinduism, is a religion of tolerance. There are so many choices of divine manifestations of the One Divine Absolute, how could Hinduism then claim a single Truth to God? Instead, Hindu ritual takes this opportunity to get personal, to mold itself to the worshiper while that person is also following a long-standing religious tradition. Shiva, often known as the god of outsiders, may find a strong following with those excluded from the Brahmanical mainstream, whereas a popular myth associated with Vishnu depicts the moment when Brahma gains the ability to create (both very important stories for the caste system). Each of these deities have multiple incarnations -- to increase the divine buffet -- with additional wives and offspring as well. The options are endless, and the faith is devout... all for this trinity -- Shiva, Vishnu, and Brahma -- the divine Absolute. (Plus, there are numerous forms of Yoga, countless ashrams associated with Gurus, and a plethora of religions which derive from Hinduism... Buddhism and Sikhism, for example.)

I wonder if the Roman Catholic Saints provide some of the same relationship of intimacy with the divine as the Hindu gods seem to. I think, perhaps, Saint Joan d'Arc could be a helpful ally as I make my way through the male-dominated Div School. Maybe I should have spent an evening in conversation with Saint Christopher before leaving on this ten-week journey (I don't care if he's been officially ousted by the Vatican or not! Woot for the Saint of travelers!) Certainly the gentle face of Mother Teresa (okay, not a Saint yet, but I'm sure its only a matter of time) reassures me as I walk through the impoverished streets of Kolkata.

It must be difficult at times to be a Christian in India. Everywhere you go, you are bombarded by religious relics and rituals that (according to the European missionaries who brought you Reformed Protestantism) are no more than superstition or dark magic. The Hindu religion and Hindi culture are so often intertwined. That must be more exasperating than being a Democrat in Washington County, Oklahoma (and that ain't easy, my friends!). Still, it often seems that perhaps the Hindi culture is exactly the kind of place that a Christian minority could thrive. A divine creator known through the life and message of the Messiah and the works of the Holy Spirit is not incredibly far fetched in comparison. Our Absolute is also known by a plethora of names: YHWH, Jahova, Lord, Emmanuel, Jesus, the Christ, the Dove, Tongues of Fire, the Holy Spirit... maybe it's not that different than Vishnu, Shiva, and Brahma.

Next time I am nearing death by taxi ride, as the driver lays on his horn and thanks Nandi (Shiva's vehicle, the white bull), I'll grasp my Jerusalem rosary and pray to my (Christian) God.

Back from the MIA... Sorta

I wish I had a story of an old withered fortune-teller whispering into my ear "Miiiizzz. India goood forr miiiizzz. In India Miiiz finds frrriends, finds looove, finds herrrself. Buuuuttt, Miiizz gets big clunck on the heeeead in India too!" If a fortune-teller had explained my Indian destiny to me as such, then perhaps the past three days would have been easier to bear. But, alas, no fortune, no warning, just a humiliating collapse at my favorite Kolkata coffee shop as I dropped to the floor in a dead faint while waiting for my daily lemon ginger tea. (Note: I'm okay now, typing and all!)

Needless to say, everyone I know here has been in a minor degree of panic because the Westerner blacked out on Saturday. I will admit that I have probably been the person displaying one of the highest levels of anxiety, which has probably not helped the situation much at all. One minute I was wishing my tea would come already so I could sit down (!), the next thing I knew I was being shaken awake from the most lovely dream. Unfortunately, my bed was the coffee-shop floor and there was a crowd of terrified folks trying to assist me to my feet.

"It was a seizure!" One man exclaimed.

"No. No." A woman told him, "It was a heat stroke! Westerners can't handle the Kolkata heat!" (I remember being mildly annoyed by her comment. I had zero clue what was happening, but let me tell you about August in Oklahoma, lady!)

"Can I call someone for you?" A youngish-looking man in a white shirt asked me.

"Aaaaaar..." I groaned as they placed me at the table. "I thhhhink I'mmmm okaaaay. Just neeeeed waterrrrrr...."

They slowly dispersed. I then called Caleb.

"Hiiiieeeee, Callllleeeeeeb," I slurred. My voice and limbs hadn't yet discovered that I was no longer unconscious. "Uuuuuuummmm..... I fainted aaaat Barrrreeestaas aaannnd I need someonnnne to come get meee heeerrrre."

"You're at Barista's? We're coming straight away, Bethany. We'll be there soon." Poor Caleb, he was totally freaked.

I spent the next 25 minutes trying to convince my fingers to grasp the water bottle, contemplating another faint so I could at least lie down again, and praying "Please God let Caleb get here soon. Please God!!!" I finally decided to brave the spiral staircase that led to the second floor bathroom (this is an utterly unfortunate layout for Barista's more sickly clientele) and returned to see Professor Peacock standing at the counter.

"We have a taxi," he told me while taking my pulse. "We're taking you straight away to the hospital to be checked out by a doctor!"

The five minute cab ride was more terrifying than normal. I had zero clue what was happening on the road, but I was certain that my head was about to explode all over the lovely Vishnu sticker on the dashboard.

The hospital was gloriously air conditioned and much cleaner than any American hospital I had seen. I was immediately ushered into a private examination room (take that three-hour long UC emergency room wait because the Student Health Care Center can't see me for three days!). The doctor arrived by the time I had climbed onto the examination table. He was accompanied by a young nurse wearing a crisp blue nurse's dress and starched white cap.

The doctor was very concerned that no one could tell him the exact circumstances of my episode. No, I am not having stomach problems. Yes, I had a good night's sleep the previous night. No, I am not having stomach problems. Yes, I can eat the food. Yes, I am drinking lots of water. No, I have had zero issues with my stomach since arriving one month ago today (note to self: the 20th seems to be a day of bad luck for me in India. June= lost wallet; July= public fainting spell; August= perhaps best not to leave my room that day).

So, we've established that my stomach is handling India quite nicely. Now, we must consider what is actually going on! Turns out my cold is more than an annoying cough and runny nose. I have some viral infection that is quite common among Bengalis during this time of year. The constantly changing weather, mixed with the heat, mixed with the pollution wreaks havoc on the human nasal passages (Kolkata makes Gary, IN, seem like a fresh air lake resort). Mine has spread to my ears, which are now infected, thus causing me to become dizzy and pass out. Good news is: I have already been sick for one week, so I only have another two weeks to go until I am once again clear headed. Bad new is: I cannot travel on an overnight train to Mungeli alone this week (my trip to the Disciples hospital will have to be rescheduled, not canceled). So, with bag full of various drugs and a 500 rupee ER bill (roughly $13 US), I headed back to Bishop's College to sleep.

Sleep is a very optimistic word for my lying down activities over the first two days. The bump on my head made it impossible for me to sleep on my back, but each time I tried to lay on my stomach, the sinus pressure would cause my eyeballs to pop out of their sockets (I write this figuratively, but was in such a massive drug-induced state, I cannot be certain that my eyes actually remained in my head either). For the first time in India, I had stomach problems (go figure!) and could not keep my antibiotics down. I could only bring myself to eat small bites of toast, and I welcomed Maggie's ointment-laden skull massages as I tried vainly to fall asleep.

I began to feel better the following day, and I even welcomed a visit from Teresa (Maggie's younger sister) and Maggie that evening. I was sad to see them go, but it was time for me to get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow, my head would only feel a dull ache instead of the sharp wrenching pain of today.

No such luck. I could not sleep at all. Each time I would finally doze into slumber, an angry stiletto-heeled woman would chase me around a snow-covered forest with an extremely sharp icepick. Seriously terrifying stuff! So, my pain meds don't actually work and my sleeping meds now encourage strangely psychotic dreams. I much prefer the final-induced zombie dreams of Chicago, because at least I know how to defeat them by answering questions with absolute certainty (it has been two years now, so I can beat the grad school zombies no problem!). I didn't sleep at all until about 5 am, but I had a doctor's appointment at the hospital at 10:30 for a checkup.

I was in a dreadful state when Phillip and Maggie came to fetch me for yet another taxi ride (not again!). I was still sick to my stomach and thus refused to eat, my head was being chain-sawed from the inside, and I wanted my Mommy! I burst into tears when I saw the doctor arrive (on his day off) and tried desperately to reassure him that I always cried when I'm tired. Turns out, I needed four more medications (bringing my count now to eleven) and he used a nasal drop to clear my passages. Within five minutes, my head hurt noticeably less. He told me that I was never alone, because God was always with me (I wonder which God he meant, but I got the feeling it was the one I pray to). He promised that I would be well this time and wants to see me on Saturday. He's quite incredible, my doctor.

So Phillip and Maggie took me to the little coffee bar beside the hospital (no, I didn't faint this time!) and forced me to eat a sandwich and drink a chai. By the end of our 30 minutes there, I was laughing with the two of them over stodgy old professor jokes (Phillip being a stodgy old professor himself).

I slept last night. No ice-pick dreams (though I did put my stilettos in my bag as I got ready for bed). I don't feel 100%, but its a lot better than the maybe 25% I felt 48 hours ago. Everyone here has been absolutely lovely and caring. I think that if I'm going to have an episode, this was absolutely the place to have it... even if I hadn't been warned by the fortune-teller....

Going Home with Maggie

Yesterday I was feeling very ill. I am yet to have a stomach issue here, but I think I have come down with bronchitis or something of the like in my lungs. Its difficult, the weather is always shifting between hot and rainy/damp. For those not used to such back-and-forth, the results are colds. This cough, however, sits in the lungs, so I can't help but wonder if it is more than a mere cold (stupid weak immune-system!). Right, so, I skipped church in order to sleep and hopefully overcome this attack on my poor body. But Maggie had invited me to her home for her father's birthday party, so I really couldn't bail on that.

It was lovely! Her father is the pastor of a large CNI congregation in Kolkata and was on a hospital call when we arrived at their house. As soon as he came home, we cut the cake and he started telling us stories of when he was a student at Bishop's College before the union of CNI ("It was a very strict Anglican seminary, and my friends and I used to sneak out at night to go to the cinema. In those days, not even female family members were allowed on campus!") I wanted to ask him how he felt about Maggie being a ministry student at Bishop's College now, but just as an opportunity came, Maggie's aunt arrived.

Maggie's aunt is basically the definition of fabulous! She is a teacher at a Christian school in Kolkata, was educated abroad, and knows more about the Bible than most minsters that I have known. She is witty and intelligent and utterly charming. We talked theories about how the John's account of the Gospel and the Epistle attributed to John could be penned by the same author (or not, as the scholars currently claim): "If I were writing the Gospel of the Lord, I would make sure that my Greek was fantastic! If I were merely writing a letter to myself, I would not care about the quality of my Greek prose..." We laughed a lot. I really enjoyed the conversation with Maggie's aunt. She is a hilarious and incredibly sincere woman. It is always lovely to spend some time with women who are the type of woman that I hope to be someday.

Monsoon Storming

Last night there was a huge thunderstorm. It was the monsoon season in full glory. At several points, the lightening struck and thunder sounded simultaneously, right outside of my window. The electricity was out for the entire morning all over campus, and from the sounds of the honking outside the College's walls, I would guess that the traffic lights were also out.

By no means did I sleep through the pyrotechnics of last night, but I did find the sounds of rain pounding against my windows and thunder crashing across the sky comforting. It reminded me of home -- Oklahoma home -- during tornado season (my favorite time of the year). Once I had gone to college in Massachusetts, I began missing the more spectacular weeks in tornado alley due to pesky spring semester exams; and while Chicago and Indianapolis boast their fair share of storms, they hardly compare to the magnificence of Oklahoma's tornado season. Last night, however, was totally terrifying and thoroughly thrilling, just as a storm should be.

A night that would usually force small children into the comforting warmth of their parents' bed was one of the most relaxing of my nights here. The sounds were familiar, the power-outage expected. A monsoon storm is something about India that I am fully capable of dealing with!

Finally! Lodging!

Well, I have moved onto the Bishop's College campus -- finally! It is really lovely having a more permanent place (I will be living here until mid-August, when I will return to the Delhi area for my last 10 days). My bed is beautifully comfortable, by comparison, because I have stacked two mattresses onto the wooden frame (I don't wake up desperately sore anymore!). It is one large room with a small dining table and four chairs, two big comfy chairs, a coffee table, a bureau, and a beautifully old standing mirror. The floor is bright red, the walks sky blue, the shudders crayola-crayon green, and the ceiling is white with yellow accents. The ceiling is incredibly high, and the floor space large, giving the room a feeling of airiness and space. The kitchen is small, but I have a gas stove (the kind where the two burners sit on a table and are linked by a hose to a tank of the floor... I'm seriously 'roughing' it here, folks!). This all means that I can now boil my own water for brushing my teeth! My favorite part of the room, however, is my bright pink floral mosquito net! I finally have the princess canape bed that I always wanted as a little girl!

Nothing about the guest house is shiny and new, but it is my exotic home for the next five weeks. I even washed three loads of laundry in a bucket in the bathroom yesterday and have utilized my mosquito-net line as my clothes dryer during the day. I still find the shower situation odd, but I simply appreciate my day dreams about showering at the Hilton near the airport on my final night in India all the more (only 7 more weeks until I get hot water!)...

Honestly, sometimes I wish I were sitting in my parents' air-conditioned living room drinking a cold Diet Dr. Pepper (with ICE!!!!!) and watching 'So You Think You Can Dance' on Fox, but then I smell the intoxicating aroma of curries drifting form the Mess Hall and wander outside to watch the seminary men play cricket. I remember that I am in Kolkata, India, and am so utterly blessed to be having this experience... I wouldn't trade it for a lifetime supply of Diet Dr. Pepper and lovely, lovely air-conditioning!

Lunch in the BC Mess

I sat down for lunch at the Bishop's College Mess Hall, prepared for my obligatory food conversation with every Indian before any meal. It goes a little something like this:

Indian: Oh... you are eating our food?
Me: Yes.
Indian: Are you certain that you can eat the food?
Me: Yes. I love Indian food.
Indian: So you enjoy Indian food. It is very spicy. You do not have stomach problems from the spices?
Me: No. I eat a lot of Indian food in the States, plus I grew up near Mexico and am used to spicy food.
Indian: Oh. So you are accustomed to spicy foods. Do you like our rice, then?
Me: Yes...

and so the conversation continues... usually we turn to the fact that I should not drink the water here... Yes, I have become quite good at brushing my teeth with bottled water! It is very impressive to watch!

Right, so I sit down to eat lunch, have the food conversation with two different people who sat down at the table at different times, then start talking Church with my friend Maggie (a first year ministry student and an oldest-child minister's daughter... no wonder we're friends!). Maggie began to complain that there are no 'lady priests' in the Kolkata diocese of CNI. There were a few in other regions, but none in Kolkata and certainly no female bishops! I asked what she thought the reason for that was (since there is no official policy against ordaining women), and another student answered. "In India," he explained, "women stay in the home mostly, and it is very difficult for them to leave the household. Also, in most countries, the churches are controlled by men (ain't that the truth! ... Bethany's inner monologue), so it is difficult for the women to become priests. They are scared to try..." Maggie responded with, "It is so stupid!" She is going to become a priest, no doubt.

I told them about my own seminary experience, where there are many more men than women at UC (I even had a class last quarter in which I was the only female in the classroom!). It is still not easy to be a 'lady priest', but it is possible. In fact, women are 'bishops' in my denomination, and we have even elected a woman as the GMP (General Minister & President, for those of you non-Disciples reading)! They all thought that was really cool, but I looked at Maggie and found myself in complete awe of her. She is so full of gumption and completely willing to take on the church to answer a calling to ordained ministry. I am not sure what I would do if I were in her position, and I am very grateful that I do not have the fight ahead of me for ordination that she does. The Disciples women pastors have fought that battle for me, several decades ago. Certainly, it is not perfect, but I feel really blessed to have so many amazing Disciples women as role models for ministry in my family (I include both grandmothers, my aunts, and my mother in that). I was even dedicated in the morning of my mother's afternoon ordination in 1984!

I won't have the struggle that Maggie has in store to answer my calling to ministry... I have such respect for her and for all the women who have gone before me to make my load slightly easier to bear. Thank you.

Bengali Worship at Duff Church

So I went to Duff Church yesterday morning. I met the pastor at the Dalit Bible Commentary release party earlier in the week, and he invited me to come. I knew when I went that is was another Church of Scotland-founded CNI congregation, so I was a little worried about not visiting a non-Anglican service this week. I shouldn't have been. The congregation is Bengali at Duff Church, and the entire service was in the Bengali language! I did not understand what was being said, but I was able to follow the basic movement of the service for the most part. Even the hymns were in Bengali, though a few were merely translations of familiar English hymns (so I sung along in my head with those).

Also, the Bishop of CNI-Kolkata was there to preach. He spoke for 50 minutes (which was absolutely painful, since I couldn't understand a word he was saying... maybe I should learn Bengali...). While the message was lost to me, he was very animated in his delivery. I wish I had known if the content matched the presentation. Sunday was a communion Sunday as well. I was happy to have it, but missed hearing the familiar Words of Institution. I hope the church in Mungeli has communion every Sunday, so I can be fed by the spirit of a good-old Disciples' Lord's Supper.

I am hungry for it! Overall, the music was the high point of the Duff Church service (I know, totally shocking that I would feel that way!). The instrument was an odd combo of a keyboard and accordion, but it was stationary (I should do some sleuthing and find the name). It was way cool! Plus, the singing was beautiful; I love the different note combinations in Indian music. I know, usually, where Western music will go next (the note movements are so familiar), but Indian music is such a surprise! It makes me feel like a beginning music student again, and I had forgotten how much fun it is!

All in all, I really enjoyed the service, even though I didn't really understand the words. I guess that is probably how many Roman Catholics felt pre-Vatican II.

CPI (M)

I am currently living in the communist stronghold of India: West Bengal. The Communist Party of India (Marxist) has been in power here for many years. After Indian independence from British rule, it makes sense that land redistribution and fair wages would be an attractive political option for Indians left impoverished by colonialism. Yet, from the conversations I have had with many Bengalis, the Communist government has not done much for the broad citizenry since its move to power decades ago. There are so many living in horrific poverty, and the communist government does no more for them than any capitalist one would. In fact, I was just told yesterday that the city government of Kolkata has destroyed a huge slum community in the past five years for the 'beautification of the city.' 300,000 people were displaced and then moved outside the city to where there was no water or infrastructure to sustain life.

There are seriously problems in the US, I will admit that willingly, but I cannot help but find the hypocrisy of this communist government particularly frustrating. The poor, the proletariat if you will, is still lost to corruption and capitalist-looking financial policies of the government. The distribution of wealth is even worse here than the gaps in the US, and the government continues to pretend that it represents the impoverished (everybody knows in the States that government and big business often go hand in hand). Poor Karl, his legacy is one of corruption in the name of Marxism. But I suppose in a nation of caste, a true socialist structure would be difficult...

Happy Independence Day (USA!!!)

Today is the Fourth of July. It's my favorite, non-Christmas holiday and I always seem to miss it! I suppose that which makes the 4th so great (the summer season) is what makes it easy to find myself overseas for the holiday. I love boating (Okies go to the lake for Independence Day), the fireworks, the BBQs, and being with both friends and family to celebrate. I am spending the 4th of July with a bunch of French friends. Clairvie is heading back to Paris tomorrow, so we're having a Bon Voyage party for her. I suppose it is not quite the same as spending Thanksgiving of 2004 in London, but I find it ironic that I'm going to a French party in Kolkata for the American Independence Day. I have decided, though, for the sake of being patriotic, I will call them my "Freedom Friends" today, instead of my 'French friends'. That sounds tres magnifique!

Happy Fourth everybody!

Shout out to the Rs!

Rosie called last night and it was lovely! I do admit that while I am really enjoying myself here, I get extremely lonely for my friends and family at home. Two weeks should not be enough to be so homesick (I've taken vacations longer than that!), but the extremity of this experience magnifies everything. I long to simply hear that about the mundane details of my loved ones' days (thanks Rob, again for your fantastic email the other day)... and yes, this is a not so subtle hint to say that I welcome emails! But I really do appreciate the little notes and messages that folks have sent along over the past few weeks. It make my day a little less monsoon-y to hear from the States. Traveling alone is difficult, even with new friends along the way. Steph, I have serious respect for what you've been doing for the past couple of years!

The Working Poor of Kolkata

This morning I went with 'the Christians' to this workshop in one of Kolkata's slums. it was founded by a Swiss couple seven years ago and is a place where women form the slum come to be educated in English and the trade of sewing. The org -- called Connections -- takes used cotton saris and makes blankets, scarves and handbags. they also make greeting cards. It was so cool! This is a place where women can learn how to create an income for their families, while still staying close to their homes, chores, and children. There are approximately 30 women who come to the shop everyday, plus another 50 women who sew blankets from home (so they can care for small children as well). For a blanket, a woman receives 180 rupee in wages, which is roughly a day's hard labor for a man's day. Even two of the five managers are women who entered the program to learn sewing and have now advanced to management careers! One still lives on the outskirts of the slum even. We bought some of the beautiful creations; I got a blanket, three bags, two scarves, and 28 cards... all for approx. $52... I was really pleased to support such a cause, plus visiting the workshop was totally RAD!

Oh! We took a bicycle rickshaw from the Metro to the workshop.... a first time, and quite cool! The others found it rather terrifying, but I was loving it! It is the way of life here; and while it is a little like Cleopatra to be hanging out in a 'modern-day' chariot, being pulled by a man on a bicycle, it is better to put rupees in the hands of a struggling rickshaw diver than to fit the Western comfort-stereotype and take an "expensive" taxi.

It is rather funny, though, to realize that I am ready to fight with a cab driver over 20 or 30 rupee now. It is absolutely absurd to pay 50 rupee for a trip that with the meter should only cost 20. Just to give you a sense of what the exchange rate is here: 42 rupee equals one US dollar. 75 cents is not a lot, but the cabbies try to take advantage of people with white skin. You know you're adjusting to India when $1.25 is TOO MUCH for a taxi!

Lots of Random, but good, Stuff

Well, today was an interesting day. I woke up at 7:15 am (yay!) and rushed to get to breakfast at BMS. They say that it takes 2 weeks to adjust to the jet lag, and its two weeks exactly! I then went to Bishop's College and didn't really get any work done... but I did have some good conversations about CNI and its structure with several of the theological students over chai tea. I really do think that I will be okay once I move into the college guest house. Right now, it is hard to be alone every night. The culture shock has manifested itself in loneliness. It is hard to not have anyone to talk to at the end of the day, so I usually just read or go to bed by 9 pm.

At 4 pm, I went to St. James Church (formerly Anglican, now CNI) for a book release ceremony. Three volumes of the new Dalit Bible Commentary were released in West Bengal. I am such a nerd, I got super-excited because I thought a man whose book on ecumenism I'm currently reading was there, but I had simply misheard the name (I'm still adjusting to Indian English). Anyway, it was a big deal, because this is (if I understood correctly) the first Bible commentary written for the Dalit perspective (Dalits are the 'untouchables' in the caste system). Of the 250-million Dalit in India, approximately 20-million are Christian (this is a HUGE difference in percentage within a single community than the roughly 1% of Indians, overall, who are Christians). The publication of this commentary series is not only a move forward in Indian religious scholarship and academia, it is incredibly important to the Dalit community in general. Time and time again, speakers acknowledged the liberating message of the Gospel for the Dalit... ours certainly is a religion for the oppressed peoples of the world, and I was present at a really ground-breaking moment in the history of the Gospel at work.

After dinner, Cecile and I went to Park Street to meet a few of her friends (2 French women and a Moroccan man). Youssef looks frighteningly like my cousin Spencer, so that kept throwing me off, but I had a lot of fun with them. They spoke a lot of French (that I could roughly follow some of the time), but they all speak English well too... there was a lot of translating for me (I know, after 7 years of French, it is absolutely pathetic that I was so rotten at understanding basic chatter... ah well, that's why I'm taking French again next year). We went to the Park Hotel (think the W or Hard Rock Hotels in the States) to listen to a cover band (they were singing "Black Velvet" when we walked in... I ABSOLUTELY LOVE American music cover bands in foreign countries!). Cecile and I both thought that the lead singer was cute, but then I've always secretly wanted to be a rock band's groupie (I guess it's not so secret anymore). Youssef asked if I like Metalica and I said 'they're okay.' He then tried to tell me that I was not a real American because Metalica 'represents America'. I informed him that Lynard Skynard represents America, and I loved THEM. He was not convinced, and I reminded him that the American (i.e. ME) would know better than the Moroccan (i.e. him) what constitutes 'America'. That's right cultural snobbery! I later met a British Indian who is in Kolkata to visit his Indian relatives for a month. He name is Ronnie and he asked me if I would 'fancy some tea sometime'. I told him to ring me, so we'll see if tea ever happens. He's not exactly a 'Barrister-type' like I predicted, but I totally told Vince that were I to get engaged in India, it would be to a Brit who was here visiting his Indian relatives! I'm soooo good at calling this stuff! Anywho... he's got a great accent, and it's a hilarious story to tell!

Lastly, they moved me to a new room at SCEPTRE today (my temp housing until the guest house clears out at Bishop's College). This one is much smaller, but I got a sheet to cover myself with at nite!!!! So, I'm moving up in the world! Of course, the mattress in this room still has a plastic cover, so I feel like I'm sleeping in a 1960s 'nuclear' home each time I move! I'm not sure which is worse: no blanket, or plastic mattress wrap? I think that no blanket is much more pathetic, but the plastic mattress is down right annoying! Alas, such is my life in India!